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Improbable Series Of Fuck-Ups Clinches Playoff Berths For Brewers And Cubs

The Brewers beat the Cardinals Wednesday night in a tense 2–1 game. The result clinched at least a spot in the NL Wild Card game for the Brewers and for the Cubs, who sit at 92 wins apiece in the closest divisional race left in baseball. And there is one Cardinals rookie who is going to feel like absolute shit about…

Everyone Thank The Marlins For Making The NL Playoff Race Fun Everyone Thank The Marlins For Making The NL Playoff Race Fun

Things are getting hot in the National League in the final days of the season. After last night’s results, here’s how things stand: The Brewers lead the wild-card race and are a half-game back of the Cubs in the central division; the Rockies are a half-game back of the Dodgers out west and now hold a half-game lead…

Kolten Wong, A Good Big Brother, Says The Rays Are "A Bad Organization" For Overlooking His Younger Brother Kolten Wong, A Good Big Brother, Says The Rays Are "A Bad Organization" For Overlooking His Younger Brother

Kean Wong is a 23-year-old utility fielder in the Rays organization. He’s spent this summer playing in Triple-A Durham, where he’s batting .282 with a .750 OPS. Tuesday he and his Durham pals will play the Cardinals’ Triple-A affiliate in the Triple-A Championship Game. While this will be terribly exciting for Annie…

Yasiel Puig Is Battering The Bejeezus Out Of The Vile Cardinals Yasiel Puig Is Battering The Bejeezus Out Of The Vile Cardinals

Yasiel Puig smashed three huge dingers Saturday afternoon. The mightiest of these was a 423-foot solo blast in the fourth inning, but the most impressive might’ve been the three-run shot to left in the fifth that left the yard on a line at an impressive 114 miles per hour. Here are the dingers:

Hustlin'-Ass Cardinals Plate Two On Two-Out Infield Chopper

It sickens me to acknowledge this, but the dreaded Cardinals made a very cool play in today’s game in Colorado. They loaded the bases with two down in the top of the first inning against Rockies starter Tyler Anderson, with Austin Gomber at the plate, and the speedy young Harrison Bader at second base. Anderson threw…

Kolten Wong Was Rightfully Impressed By His Own Throw To First Kolten Wong Was Rightfully Impressed By His Own Throw To First

With the Dodgers down by three in the bottom of the ninth, Justin Turner looked like he had a sure hit to possibly spark a rally. Then Kolten Wong happened.

Rick Ankiel, Who Could And Then Couldn't, Might Rick Ankiel, Who Could And Then Couldn't, Might

We should begin with the important stuff. There is a league that plays at Louisville Slugger Stadium, in Louisville, over the course of a brief eight-team tournament held at the height of summer. It’s called the Bluegrass World Series, and seven of the teams in its field have rosters made up of collegiate players. The…

Cardinals Rookie's No-Hitter Broken Up By Fire Alarm, Joey Votto Cardinals Rookie's No-Hitter Broken Up By Fire Alarm, Joey Votto

For the second night in a row, a Cardinals debutante starter took a no-hitter into the seventh inning. But this time, the Cincinnati Reds’ ballpark was ready to shut that shit down. Following up on Daniel Poncedeleon’s wonderful seven innings of no-hit ball in his debut on Monday, Austin Gomber threw himself six…

Daniel Poncedeleon Hurls Seven No-Hit Innings In Big-League Debut Daniel Poncedeleon Hurls Seven No-Hit Innings In Big-League Debut

Daniel Poncedeleon made his big-league debut Monday night, 14 months after a comebacker hit him in the temple in a minor-league game and very nearly ended his career. And what a debut it was! Poncedeleon left the game after the seventh inning, having thrown 116 pitches without allowing a single hit. Just three…

Daniel Poncedeleon Will Make His Major League Debut 14 Months After A Horrifying Injury Daniel Poncedeleon Will Make His Major League Debut 14 Months After A Horrifying Injury

Cardinals pitcher Daniel Poncedeleon will be called up by St. Louis today and start tonight’s game against the Reds, making his big-league debut little more than a year after an injury suffered on the mound put his career—and maybe his life—in jeopardy. “Talk about a comeback story,” new Cards manager Mike Shildt said…

I Hereby Demand Several Large Jars Of Matt Carpenter's Secret Dinger Salsa I Hereby Demand Several Large Jars Of Matt Carpenter's Secret Dinger Salsa

Matt Carpenter’s current streak of just absurd production started on July 14, with a double and a home run in the middle game of a series against the Reds. He homered again the following night, this time in a win, to enter the All-Star break on a nice two-day run of slugging excellence.

Chaotic Cardinals Season Continues With Mid-Season Firing Of Manager Mike Matheny Chaotic Cardinals Season Continues With Mid-Season Firing Of Manager Mike Matheny

The St. Louis Cardinals axed manager Mike Matheny Saturday night, following an 8-2 loss to the Cincinnati Reds. The loss was their fourth in five games, and 10th in their last 15 games. The Cardinals are now 7.5 games back in the NL Central. The Cardinals announced Matheny’s firing via a team release late Saturday…

Billy Hamilton Cannot Possibly Be Human Billy Hamilton Cannot Possibly Be Human

Billy Hamilton’s season at the plate has improved significantly from its dismal start. Where he was producing an awful .517 OPS in early June, and considering dropping switch-hitting as a potential remedy, he is now producing a more recognizable .636, in line with what he’s generally done over the past four seasons.…

Extremely Cardinals Report: Mike Matheny Respects Bud Norris For Being A Relentless Dick To Teammate Jordan Hicks Extremely Cardinals Report: Mike Matheny Respects Bud Norris For Being A Relentless Dick To Teammate Jordan Hicks

The St. Louis Cardinals are plainly, self-evidently enduring a period of persistent, chronic dunderheadedness. Nothing makes that more plain than the fact that they’re publicly feuding with one of their own players, but that’s not been the only sign: Tommy Pham, who broke out last season with the Cardinals, in his…

I Can’t Get Enough Of The Shitass Cardinals Feuding With One
Of Their Own Players  I Can’t Get Enough Of The Shitass Cardinals Feuding With One Of Their Own Players 

The St. Louis Cardinals are currently a pedestrian 46-43 and 7.5 games behind Milwaukee in the NL Central. But this is Deadspin, and you didn’t come here to read about how the Cardinals are doing on the field on some random-ass July day. You came here to read about why the Cardinals are a bunch of fake, sucky…

Dexter Fowler Seems Miserable Playing For The Cardinals Dexter Fowler Seems Miserable Playing For The Cardinals

Since the start of Dexter Fowler’s second season with the Cardinals, he has hit poorly, lost playing time in right field to Harrison Bader and Jose Martinez, and been tossed under the bus by his team’s president of baseball operations. Playing in St. Louis sucks!

Noggin Bonked By Errant First Pitch

An unfortunate fellow was bonked in the head by an errant first pitch before Sunday’s Braves-Cardinals game. This is especially delightful because first of all he works for the dreaded St. Louis Cardinals and therefore deserves this abuse, but also this same lad was famously scratched up by the vile Rally Cat.

Marcell Ozuna Tried Way Too Hard To Catch This Fly Ball

The Brewers whupped the Cardinals tonight, and the Milwaukee scoring got rolling with a two-out, first-inning fly ball from Jesus Aguilar. It was high, and it was deep, but it wasn’t quite as gone as St. Louis left fielder Marcell Ozuna assumed it was. While Ozuna was trying out his best Spider-Man impression, the…

Adam Wainwright Is A Merciless Prank Artist Adam Wainwright Is A Merciless Prank Artist

Skip Schumaker spent the first eight of his 11 years in the majors playing for the St. Louis Cardinals, where he was teammates with, among others, career-Cardinal Adam Wainwright. Schumaker retired in 2016, after stints with the Dodgers and Reds, and is now the first base coach for the San Diego Padres.

Michael Wacha Blows Ninth Inning No-Hitter For The Second Time In His Career Michael Wacha Blows Ninth Inning No-Hitter For The Second Time In His Career

For the second time in his career, Cardinals pitcher Michael Wacha carried a no-hitter into the ninth inning of a major league baseball game, today at home against the Pirates. And for the second time in his career, a lousy softly-hit single spoiled his shot at history. Three outs away from the 11th no-hitter in…

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